The Grocery......more like Grossery

Ok it's an exaggeration, but who doesn’t love my kitchy lines? I wanted to take Eric somewhere nice in the neighborhood for his birthday and judging from the great reviews and recommendations from friends, what better place than the Grocery (288 Smith Street)? I mean if my friend from the Upper West Side is willing to travel all the way to Brooklyn to go to the place, it’s gotta be good right?

So we walked into this living room size restaurant (this time NO exaggeration) and found the tables so cramped, that even my little body had to suck in and pretend I had a size zero physique, after the table was pulled out to let me in. Sort of felt bad for our neighbors. Knowing I was stuck there for the night, I was hoping I didn’t have to take any bathroom trips.

The restaurant was populated by older married couples in their 40s, 50s, even 60s--the men mostly in suit jackets. Not sure we were quite in our element, being that that Eric was wearing sneakers and ripped jeans, but hey there’s no pretense from us!

The staff was extremely friendly, I mean to an extreme that is rarely seen. It’s not that often that a number of different waiters attempt to strike up a genuine conversation with you. We got so close to our waitress that we found out she and I had the same birthday! The chef came over to our table to offer us a complimentary appetizer, which was parsnip soup--good, but forgettable. The prices on the menu were not cheap, but what the heck, it was a special occasion and judging from what we had heard, prices should not even be an issue since the food was supposed to be beyond our expectations. I ordered the stuffed guinea hen with chicken liver and corn bread stuffing, and Eric chose the duck breast. I wasn’t so excited about my choice, however being that I’m Jewish and love chopped liver, what could be so bad? (that was in my mom’s Jewish Brooklyn accent) For an appetizer we ordered the crispy farro cake with roasted cauliflower, mushrooms, house smoked bacon, and charred balsamic onions. I told you we are obsessed with farro now, thanks to the Dumbo General Store.

Our food took FOREVER to arrive, to the point that we were offered another complimentary forgettable appetizer. I was still trying to maintain a positive attitude, but I wasn’t happy considering we had a birthday celebration after, where people were already waiting. When we were finally served, I attempted my meal. Unfortunately I could not muster the after taste and had to perform surgery on my entrée and only eat around the edges. Disappointment personified. I would have ordered something else, but nothing else sparked my interest. I repeatedly ate off Eric’s plate, and I don’t typically like duck. It was better than mine though. Wow, I always do this, I have such high expectations when I should really just walk in with a blank slate. After I used the restroom, the chef called me back into the kitchen to see what I had thought of the meal. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I wished I had ordered something else because he was so nice!

For dessert they gave us a complimentary passion fruit and hibiscus sorbet which was refreshing, but eh. The staff did come over and sing to Eric and served him a rhubarb crisp, and I can finally say that I enjoyed something of the night. For the money spent though I had hoped this visit would have been one for the books. Instead, it will unfortunately be nixed from the record. Sorry to say that I will be indulging in my Groceries elsewhere.

Next entry, I will be tossing away the white linen table cloths of Carroll Gardens and travel to Central America… oh I mean Red Hook… for some Latin deliciosa comida mmm mmm.

Erica’s Rating for the Grocery: 6